#im yelling because why the actual fuck am i going to school to try and write legislation and help people fight the system

[beepbeepmfkr]

Honestly if trump wins I'm blocking anyone who's ever put "the Dems are just as bad so why bother voting" bullshit on my dash. Y'all will do everything to blame anyone else but yourselves for not doing the absolute bare minimum of your duty as a citizen and the hilarious part is that so many of you pretend that be fucking pseudo revolutionaries on the internet

Y'all can't even handle a conflicting opinion without sending anon hate but sure. You're definitely the one who's gonna plan the revolution 🙄

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - s1 social media au

note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry

part two

liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others

chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁

see all 8 comments

syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n

↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me

↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///

marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.

↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular

↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start

richietheking: Where am I?

↳ chefboyardee: ya motha

liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others

richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.

see all 8 comments

marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.

↳ richietheking: You already know it man.

syd_adamu: this is actually crazy

carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.

↳ richietheking: Delete your life.

chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝

↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.

↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 8:25 am ]

y/n:

bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.

marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy

DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.

syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school

DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.

y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie

richie poo: ????? What

y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols

marcus: valid

syd: real

richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude

y/n: cuz you piss me off

and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday

richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.

syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?

richie poo: Fuck off.

y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.

marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n

y/n: don’t remind me

syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas

richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook

tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.

syd: hey! i’m just being helpful

y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings

marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares

y/n: great i’m gonna cry now

syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine

richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.

y/n: oh great

tina: Help us all.

syd: be nice you guys

WORK

[ 9:15 am ]

carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

syd: ok sounds good

richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media

tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??

carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts

marcus: facebook is crazy

richie poo: I can’t go private

y/n: he needs the likes

richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why

y/n: liar

richie poo: 😑I don’t like you

carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.

marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie

carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.

richie poo: Fine, whatever

y/n: carmy

carmy: What, Y/n?

y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real

carmy: I don’t care Y/n.

y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’

oh

syd: ? why the oh

y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes

carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later

y/n: OMG yes chef 😍

richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work

y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass

jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face

carmy: Stop

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

i heard your giggle tho

richie poo: Again with the schizo episode

syd: you can’t say that richie

richie poo: Oh sorry

[starringthesturniolos]

bite me (part 2)- matt sturniolo

part one, part 2

summary- matt has always hated your guts, but everything changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.

contains- vampire!matt x reader, enemies to lovers, smut (not in this part), themes of death, dark themes, high school au! (18 yrs old)

——————————————————————————

your pov:

i woke up with a massive headache, my chest heaving. the first thing i think of is matt.

what the fuck, why is he on my mind on a saturday morning.

i shudder at my own actions and throw my covers over my head as a phantom chill runs down my spine.“cant stay in bed forever” i sigh to myself, while throwing the covers off my body almost immediately after putting them back on. I march to my closet and change into my favorite running shorts. as soon as i step foot out of my house, i start to jog, the melodic tempo lulling me out of my morning funk. my peace is disrupted tho because out the corner of my eye, i see my neighbor walk out his house into his driveway. his eyes bore into mine before they rake up and down my body. my heart beat picks up slightly, and it’s not from the exercise.

my neighbor, kit, has been weirdly obsessed with me ever since he and his girlfriend broke up. about a week ago, i caught him snooping around our house at night, trying to get a peek into my room. after that i’ve been trying to avoid crossing paths, and i wasn’t planning on crossing them today. its fine, hes probably taking out the trash, i think, desperately trying to reassure myself. i speed up from a light jog to a full on sprint because i know that once hes out my sight, i will feel more comfortable. i sigh in relief when i round the corner to the next street in my subdivision, happy that i got away from him.

slap slap slap

his feet pound against the ground as he sprints to catch up with me. i whirl around once i hear the footsteps, and lock eyes with him. the accidental eye contact was enough to spur him to go even faster than his long legs were taking him before. my heart to drops and i turn back around, running on pure adrenaline and fear.

“Y/n, stop running and come talk to me!” kit yells angrily but i’m running far too hard to form a proper sentence. even if i wanted to respond to him i wouldn’t have the breath to do so.

“STOP PLAYING HARD TO GET. YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME Y/N. COME HERE AND ADMIT IT” he screams even louder. my head starts to pound and my mind reels trying to come up with a plan. i can’t run forever. i gather the little breath i have in me to muster up a scream in hopes someone will come help me, only for the air to be knocked out of me. i ran straight into something, no,

someone.

“get. the fuck. away from her.” the mystery man growls.

kit takes one look at him and slowly backs away in fear. “who the hell are you?” out of curiosity, i look up to see who i’ve run into and freeze.

matt?

no it can’t be. it looks just like him but his eyes are dark red, and dark black veins swirl under his pale skin like they have a mind of their own. “who are you?” i cringe as i repeat the same question kit did moments before, both our tones lacking a single ounce of courage. fear was all consuming as we stared at the monster in front us.

“you know who i am, y/n. get behind me. now. im gonna deal with him” he says gruffly while looking behind me at kit. kit whimpers at the sight of matts deadly stare.

i ignore what matt says, opting to look him up and down instead in a manner that screams “what the fuck is wrong with you”. but then, i try to think rationally for a moment, this is still matt after all. he may not like me but hes not gonna hurt me. right?

“what happened to you, matt?”i question breathlessly.

“you.” matt deadpans in a voice much deeper than his normal one, taking a step closer to me. he reaches his hand out to grab me. to take me.

“y/n get away from him!!” kit interjects and pulls me too him in hopes of trying to help me get away from matt. and for once, i’m actually glad kits here.

wrong move.

matt is in front of me in a flash. he snarles as he pushes kit with bone crushing force. his body goes flying, hitting a pole a couple of yards away with a loud thud, knocked out on impact. i shriek, terror filling my veins. as if sensing my strong distress, matt turns to me slowly. his arms out in front of him, in what is supposed to be a peaceful gesture.

hard to be comforting when your veins are as dark as your tattoos.

“y/n, we need to talk” the stranger, deeper version of matts voice says.

why can’t i move. im frozen in time as he takes slow steps towards me.

“you need to come with me, y/n.” he breathes out, his dark red eyes wide and crazed. he takes another step closer. my legs feel like jelly but i finally manage to take one step back. whatever matt is, it can’t be human. humans can’t throw each other several yards. their veins aren’t as black as midnight, and their eyes sure as hell don’t change to a deep red on command. so what does he, no, it, want from me.

“w- why do i need to come with you? ”

“because you’re mine” he growls, finally deciding to close the gap between us, faster than my eyes can process. he bends down and run his nose along the hot spot on my neck. he inhales deeply and moans in relief his black veins disappearing. i scream and try to push him off but its useless. he grabs my arm in a vice grip and pure horror spreads through my body for what feels like the 100th time today. i try to let out another scream but no sound comes out. my vision clouds and my head is spinning. then everything is black.

@bbernard-03

@sturnthepot

@hoeformatt

@sturtriple16

@faygo-frog

@sturniol0s

@fratbrochrisgf

@mattslolita

[firesmokeandashes]

Greetings, Tumblr dwellers. I am here today with a bunch of bkdk/mha incorrect/correct quotes. Because I, unfortunately, am lacking inspiration to write anything else at the moment :[

Please enjoy.

□□□□□□□

Izuku and Katsuki: *arguing about something*

Katsuki: "Stop yelling at me, nerd!"

Izuku: "IM NOT YELLING AT YOU! IM SIMPLY... PROJECTING MY VOICE TO MAKE A POINT!"

Katsuki: "OTHERWISE KNOWN AS YELLING!!"

Izuku: "BUT NOW, YOU'RE YELLING!!"

Katsuki: "ONLY BECAUSE YOU YELLED AT ME FIRST!"

Izuku: *starts powering up one for all and charges at Katsuki* "AHHHHHHHH!!!"

Katsuki: *powers up his explosions and charges at Izuku* "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Izuku and Katsuki: *catches each others fists and begin making out aggressively instead*

Denki: "...."

Todoroki: *sipping coffee tiredly*

Denki: "So.... why were they fighting again..."

Todoroki: "Deku said he thought Bakugou was the better hero out of the both of them. Which made Bakugou extremely angry because he thinks Deku is the better hero out of both them, and it kind of escalated from there."

Denki: "...."

Izuku and Katsuki: *intense angry making out noises*

Todoroki: *continues sipping coffee out of his '#No.1 Wonder Duo Supporter' mug*

□□□□□□□□

Katsuki: "...."

Izuku: *standing in a slightly burnt looking pile of paper towles and plates covered in hot chocolate and feathers*

Katsuki: *watches as a featherless and slightly disoriented duck imerges from the pile*

Izuku: "I may have made a mistake..."

Katsuki: "Actually, it seems you've made several mistakes all within the past 5 minutes while I was changing my clothes"

□□□□□□□

Katsuki: "Hey, Izuku! What'd ya say about coming with me on a road trip to the mountains for some hiking?"

Izuku: "I would say 'yes', but Im still recovering from the last road trip we went on"

Katsuki: "Izuku, that was ten years ago, and we were in high school!"

Izuku: "And you got kidnapped! And we had to come and rescue you!"

Katsuki: "That was one time, Izuku. ONE. TIME."

Izuku: "Yes, and I would very much not like to repeat the experience!"

Katsuki: "We're full grown-ass adults Izuku!"

Izuku: "I don't care! It was a traumatic experience that could still happen now that we're adults!"

Katsuki: "We're two of the highest ranking pro-heroes in Japan! WE FUCKING BEAT ALL FOR ONE! I highly doubt anyone is going to try kidnap either one of us!"

Izuku: "...."

Katsuki: *incredulous annoyed silence*

Izuku: "I'll go pack my bags..."

Katsuki: *silent contemplating look of disappointment at his boyfriend's ridiculousness*

□□□□□□

Katsuki: "You have to make a decision."

Izuku: "I did. I've decided not to decide."

Katsuki: "We're in the fucking drive-through Izuku! You have to choose something to eat!"

Izuku: "I can't! It's too much pressure!"

Katsuki: "You're the fucking number one hero you live under pressure! And you can't decide what to eat at a drive-through!?"

Izuku: "That's different!"

Katsuki: "How is saving people from birning buildings less stressful than choosing a meal at a fucking fast food joint!?"

Izuku: "Because saving people doesn't involve having to choose between chicken nuggets shapped like dinosaurs or chicken nuggets shapped like space ships!"

Katsuki: "....."

□□□□□□□□

Katsuki and Izuku: *staring at horribly disfigured homemade clay All Might figure with a hand(??) sticking out of his head and four legs 3 of which look like tree stumps, that they made the night before while partially drunk*

Izuku: "So.... Do you think we can fix it?"

Katsuki: "No. And Im not even going to try"

□□□□□□□

Katsuki: *walking around a hero gala, his PR agent dragged him to*

Izuku: *walking slightly behind Kacchan, following him*

Izuku: "Where are you going, Kacchan?"

Katsuki: "Towards the answer of all my problems"

Izuku: But Kacchan, you're walking towards the exit"

Katsuki: "Exactly."

Izuku: "...."

Izuku: "Can I tag along with you, then? Because I really want to go home and finish watching the final episode of Sasaki to Miyano, but my ride won't be leaving for a while."

Katsuki: "Sure. We can pick up some ramen on the way to your place so we can eat it while we watch those two idiots finally get together."

Izuku: "Yay! Thanks, Kacchan! You're the best!"

Katsuki: "I know, I know. Now, let's get going before my PR agent catches me and makes me go talk to more people."

□□□□□

Welp! That's all I got for now! I hope you guys liked them!

[rogertaylorshbb]

'toxic' Roger Taylor x reader

summary- you and roger get into an argument but you guys make up like 20 minutes later🤭🙄💅

swearing, light smut, mentions of alcohol. [ I have no idea why I'm adding these, just makes the fanfic look more ✨professional✨]

"okay see you tomorrow!! love you!!" you yelled out to your bestfriend Chelsie as you stepped in the door of you and rogers apartment. "finally" your heard a groan, it was roger "I've been waiting for you all night". you turned on the light to see him slouched on the couch with a bottle of vodka in his hand. "your drunk" you sighed.

"maybe" he chuckled "where were you?". "I was out at that new nightclub that opened" you smiled thinking back on it. "with who?" he questioned his words becoming more intrigued. "just Chelsie and a few other friends" you said.

"Chelsie? and what other friends" he said turning his head to you. "just...people, I'm not sure, just Chelsie's friends that she kept from high school".

"what? like guys?" he questioned "guys..?" you questioned back. "where there any guys?" he stated. "Jesus rog.." you sighed. he stood up from the couch placing the vodka bottle on the table. "what? don't 'Jesus rog' me" he said mimicking your voice. "your drunk, and I don't wanna argue, go to bed".

"are you cheating on me?" he asked. "what?!, god no!" you frustratingly told him. "don't fucking lie to me y/n, I know your cheating on me!" "no!" you yelled "I know your fucking other guys y/n" roger shouted. "how-? what- why? why would I do that huh?" you shouted back. "because your a fucking slut-" roger slurred pointing a finger at you. your heart went cold, how could he? how could he call you that?.

you tried to keep calm, "your drunk roger". "So? being drunk doesn't make me a liar" he groaned. you tried to keep in your tears. "I cant hang out with my friends for one night without being a slut?? I'm cluttered with work, all I want to do is go have fun for one night, but no, I cant have fun" you stated.

"your such an idiot" he muttered. "your the idiot!" you yelled, you took a deep breath "you know what? arguing with you is childish, I'm going to out to get bread because I forgot and then I'm going to bed, sober up or not before I get back....actually I don't care, do what you want"

roger stood there while you walked off out the door. he started to really think about what he had carelessly blurted out, and the guilt in his chest started to hurt. "fuck...I am an idiot".

you walked to the convivence store 7 minutes away, getting bread from the shelf, and walking as slow as possible back to your apartment, trying to escape the awkwardness that would be there when you walked back in.

you walked back in to see roger in the bathroom brushing his teeth. you plopped the bread on the counter stumbling into the bedroom. you took off your party dress and heels and picked out a pair of pajamas. as you were looking around in the messy clothes draws roger walked in. "get out, I'm getting dress" you huffed. "what? I'm not allowed to see you naked now?" he scoffed. "whatever" you muttered throwing on an oversized t-shirt.

"I'm not so drunk anymore" roger told you. "good" you sighed. not one of you making eye contact as you both slid into bed. the tension was killing roger. "I'm sorry" he whispered "I don't think your a slut, I was just jealous". you turned to look at him. "the truth is....im scared of losing you, just the thought of you finding someone better then me terrifies me, I don't think I can live without you"

you looked into his eyes. you were speechless, you had never heard roger say anything like that. since you had no words you just kissed him, running your fingers through his hair. roger grabbed your waist, practically dragging your body over his. his hands travelled your body, reaching over to take your t-shirt off, before he suddenly stopped "oh wait...im not allowed to see you naked anymore, guess were gonna-" he chuckled, you cut him off "oh shut up" you laughed.

you dragged the t-shirt off you continuing to kiss roger. roger cupped your breasts, massaging them, making you moan into his mouth. "where are the condoms?" you smirked. "here" roger said reaching into his drawer.

he hurriedly put it on, you started to slowly sit further on further down on his cock, not trying to muffle your moans at all when you did. "fuck I love it when you moan like that" roger smiled.

-just gonna end it there-

[gagsolineoilrefinery]

brian headcanons? pretty please

Smiles so big and wide at you yes absolutely I love that little freak

putting under a read more for convenience's sake

- I'm 100% a Bug Brian truther, that man is an insect you can't convince me otherwise, I like to think he can make weird little chittering noises and climbs up walls with his hands and feet for enrichment

- He's trans and has no last name because he didn't care enough to pick a new one so he went with none, acts all mysterious about it because he thinks it makes him look cool

- This man needs glasses so fucking badly but after a litany of "nerd" comments growing up he refuses to wear them, has attempted contacts but cant get them in his eyes for the life of him

- He would genuinely rather die than go to the factory, he does all his needed repairs on himself unless he's forced to (usually by Ben or William)

- He gets along with his co workers in, his own way when he's forced to interact with them. He does not understand how to behave "appropriately" around other people, he's my favorite rude autism icon (he is going to insult your intelligence at any given opportunity with what he sees as good intentions and does not understand why everyone hates him)

- I'm also a Bellthinker truther I think that british man should kiss that bug right on the brain dome and make him so flustered his systems soft reset

- Every time theres a meeting that he's in the second he's at the front of the room the entire mood changes because everybody knows he's gonna have a whole presentation planned thats no less than 1 hour long, and he will yell at you if you try to stand up for any reason

- I like to think living in the heart of toontown (right in the playground no less) definitely has some side effects on him, the silliness is rubbing off on him more than he realizes, most obviously things like his brain exploding comically when he starts baby raging

- Im sorry this man is absolutely a cog reddit user (coggit? idk) you can't change my mind, hes a power mod and proud of it, keeps getting talked to for using it on company time though

- He's very attatched to the Desk Jockeys but absolutely hates to admit it, I like to think its a Dr. Robotnik with Scratch and Grounder type dynamic (thinking especially like that one scene where Robotnik says "I don't even know why I bother to repair you guys, I suppose I'm too sentimental" shit like that)

- With his dynamics with the other toontown central managers, I think he actually feels very guilty about the incident that happened with Buck- but instead feigns a petty hatred for him so nobody will ask him about it and he doesn't have to admit how monumentally he fucked up

- He's on relatively chill terms with William, they're both angry big mouthed autistic people who do not know how to shut up so they mesh pretty well, I think they like to fight eachother to let off steam and then makeup immediately after, Brian isn't too fond of the whole oil leakage problem thing though because it makes a mess of his basement but he doesn't exactly hold it against him since he knows he can't help it

- When he can spare the time he loves poking around in the systems of his co workers just to see how they operate out of morbid curiosity and to see how he can make the jockeys more efficient, he's on that medic tf2 shit, not many of them let him do it though (understandably so)

- Probably went to whatever the cog equivalent of medical school was but lost his medical license after The Buck Incident™️

(And I think thats probably good for now because I am dangerously treading the line of infofumping about my AU sorry I have so many thoughts about this creature)

[elijahfanfics]

mha trio (bkg, todo & deku) x bullied exchange student oc/reader

After ten minutes of trying to name this bitch ive gone with June. Some may dislike this name and I get it its very 2020 but I think it suits them

June is autistic and will show traits that I show because that's what I know best about, these things will be from experiences that ive gone through in the past so I will also include a trigger warning list below

TW: bullying, autistic overload/overstimulation (NON SEXUAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH), physical violence (not a lot just shoves and some kicking), 3v1, destruction of property, use of the R word

June is a 16 year old autistic non binary person and loves their headphones, they always have their headphones on unless in a place where they needs to take them off e.g. in the classroom when the teacher is talking but they do have a pass to wear them when the teacher gives the go ahead. the students speak Japanese but the teachers know English, June knows Japanese and English but to know what language people are speaking in i'll put the Japanese speech in this font and also the three other girls only speak english. You can imagine June to look however you want and also this will be in 1st person :)

---------------

Im walking down a hallway, looking for the class labelled 1A, yet failing miserably.

"okay class 1C, that must mean class 1A is around here right?", I mumble to myself, looking around me at the doors in this stupidly confusing array of hallways. I turn a corner still looking down at the 'map' on my phone, that is even more confusing than these fucking hallways, and suddenly, im on the floor.

I look up and see Grace, Sophie and Jessica. Sophie being the self proclaimed 'leader' spoke up, "ew what the fuck I didn't know you would be here", she says disgustedly and looks at her friends, giggling to each other. I sigh and get up, walking away as they start barking at me (this actually happens too idk why people do this even in public and outside of schools like wtf. and also, furry friendly, its only the assholes who bark at emos n stuff) I am so looking forward to a new school with new people to yell and bark at me. yay.

The girls keep following me as I finally find my class AND THEYRE STILL BARKING AND GIGGLING, of course we're in the same class, why wouldn't we be.

I knock on the door and the girls finally stop barking and theyre just giggling and whispering. "you must be the four exchange students", a very tired looking man with black scruffy hair and a grey scarf says to us in a monotone voice, the girls immediately taking notice of the dishevelled man and quietly giggling to each other more. Aizawa saw this but didn't really care much and he turned into the classroom, waving us in. I start to enter the room but the girls push past me and leave me to close the door after them, I roll my eyes and stand in the corner as the teacher introduces us to the class.

"So as you may already know, four students from England(or America) have been transferred here for a month, the four of them will have separate rooms of the spare rooms. They will follow us around in classes and training but will not part take in any training as we are liable for any injuries they sustain and I would like to avoid a lawsuit, Grace, Sophie and Jessica cannot speak Japanese so teachers will be aiding them in classes, but June does speak Japanese fluently. June is autistic so please keep that in mind when you meet them, do not crowd them or yell around them. I was told to tell you that because again, any physical or emotional damage they sustain can end in a lawsuit and if that happens, you will be expelled. Are there any questions.", the teacher said, not very enthusiastic about there possibly being questions.

One student with green hair raises his hand, "yes Midoriya", the teacher says with a sigh.

"Mr. Aizawa, will they be in the common room much? And also I heard there is a space in this class still, will one of them possibly be transferred here? And can I ask June about their quirk or can we not talk to them at all? Will June be helping us with out English since they knows both languages? An-", the boy rambles on until Mr. Aizawa cuts him off. "Okay Midoriya that's enough questions.", Aizawa sighs before mentally preparing to answer him, "they will be in the common room as much as they want. Yes there is a possibility that one of them may be transferred if chosen. You may talk to June but if they want to be left alone, leave them alone. June can help you with your English work inside or outside of classes if they wish. Now are there any more questions.", he says and towards the end he scowls, as if daring someone to raise their hand.

I watch this interaction carefully, and I also pay attention to the class watching me and the girls too. I come to the conclusion that most of this class probably aren't like the people back home. One girl had purple hair and wires on her ears, and some of the students had on eyeliner too. They actually didn't seem too intimidating, and I didn't mind their curious eyes as appose to judging looks like i'd get in class back home.

"what are they talking about Junie", Grace says to me in a sickly sweet voice, nudging me with her elbow. The other girls turn to me too and I take a small step back, into the corner. "Yeah what are they sayin Junie", Sophie spoke, her words laced with venom as she practically spat the nickname they call me.

"Just that were using spare rooms in their dorm and we'll be sticking with this class for the month", I mumble quietly, while this is all playing out, Mr.Aizawa announces to the class that he's going to take a nap and for the class to work on their English translation worksheets.

"OMG no way are we spending the next month with you in the same dorm!", Jessica says, and they all start to fucking giggle again. Seriously, what is it with the giggling.

Suddenly an outstretched hand comes flying down between us forcefully and I look over to see a blue haired boy with glasses.

"please be quiet otherwise you may wake Mr.Aizawa", the boy says, in a quiet but forceful tone.

"..huh?", Sophie says and the all just look at him.

"he said to be quiet or you might wake the teacher", I translate for them.

"Wake the teacher? The teacher's sleeping?", Jessica says to the boy but he gives no reply and just blinks at them, realising his mistake. He looks towards me and we make eye contact for a brief moment before the girls laughing 'quietly' catches my attention. They are all turned to face Aizawa in hi yellow sleeping bag and I can see the irritation lightly painting his face. Most people couldn't tell but, A; it hasn't been long enough for him to be asleep yet and B; who wouldn't be annoyed.

I sigh and turn to the chalk board, picking up the white chalk. On the board I write 'if anybody needs help with their English, just ask and I can come to help' in Japanese of course. I turn to walk through the classroom to the back of the class where there was an empty row of four seats. Half way down, the three girls push past me and I fall slightly onto the green haired boys desk, apparently called Midoriya, I put my hands down on the edge of the desk to stop myself from falling flat on my face.

I take a step back and bow to him as I apologise to him quickly before carrying on to my seat in the corner, behind a girl with long black hair. I sit down and take my laptop out, about to start playing some stardew valley before I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look over and see a boy with red and white hair standing over me.

"I need some help on my English work please", he says, and I stand up, "yeah of course that's no problem", I smile and I follow him over to his desk.

He sits down and I kneel next to him to look over his work. Behind me I hear the girls whispering to eachother, "damn June getting on their knees for these guys already. fucking whore" "I know right who the fuck could actually like a r***rded ass like them anyways.". I try to ignore the comments but they do get to me and the boy notices.

"what are they saying", he asks in a calm voice. I look up at him, "oh, nothing, theyre just talking to each other about schoolwork and stuff", I say, trying to avoid answering truthfully.

"not true", he says, "they're talking about you, aren't they. You don't like each other. why?".

I stay silent for a moment.

"you said you needed help with the work", I look up at him with a dismissive smile, trying to change the subject.

He obliges and points to one of the sections, "Im having some trouble with "s"s on the ends of sentences. It can be used for "cars" and "car's" so what is the difference?"

I think about my reply for a moment before speaking, "yeah, so an 's' can signify a multiple but can also signify a possession, you can tell the difference from the use of an apostrophe. If the car belongs to someone then "the car's his", the apostrophe is basically a placeholder for an "I", if you can split the word into two and put an "I" before the "s" then its a possession, but if its something like "the cars belong to him", then they are his cars and he has multiple. The best way to understand a word isn't to look at the word its self, especially if you are struggling to understand it, its to look for context around the word.", I look up to him to see if he understood that and I saw it click in his eyes, he looks at me and thanks me before going back to his work and I walk back to my desk.

After classes finished, I made my way down the hall with my headphones on. I reach the dining hall and grab some food before heading off to find the smallest corner I could cram myself into.

I walk around the school for a phew minutes until I decide to sit outside on a brick wall that was about four feet tall. I place my food onto it and jump up to sit on the end of it, behind the school where it was basically deserted, no students to be seen, just how I like it.

I nod along to my music and eat my food in peace, something that has come to be a rare occasion.

I look over to my left and see three figures walking toward me. Great.

I ignore them and carry on eating.

When they get to me they start yelling, my heartbeat rises and I become nervous but I try my best to ignore them and just listen to my music. That is until one of them grabs onto my headphones and throws them as hard as she can onto the wall opposite us.

I just stare at where they lay, broken, on the floor. My eyes fill with tears but I try to hide it, my headphones are the most important thing to me. I need them. I cant afford to buy more.

I bring my knees up to my chest and curl up into a ball, still trying to ignore them.

They keep screaming at me and occasionally kicking me, barking and shoving too. I just stay curled up, feeling like im about to throw up. Hyperventilation starts and im struggling to hold myself together.

I start to hear some other voices too, speaking in Japanese. Just more people to scream at me…

One of the of the voices sound familiar though, from the class I was in, and another, extremely angry voice.

I hear some of what theyre saying, "im gonna fucking kill em" and "Kacchan, you cant kill them, we can get them to leave them alone though".

I hear three sets of footsteps and I look up a bit, it's Midoriya and Todoroki and some other blonde boy who I don't know the name of yet. They all look angry. Like, about to stab someone angry.

I make brief eye contact with Todoroki, his eyes softening slightly as he waves his right hand. Ice shoots from the floor, barricading me from the girls.

"The hell do you think youre doing huh?!", the blonde one yells as he uses explosions coming from his hands to project him onto the wall next to me. "Bakugo, be quieter, you remember what Mr.Aizawa said", Todoroki said in monotone voice, yet still looking pissed, "yeah yeah I know..", Bakugo replies much quieter than before.

The girls look at eachother and Grace speaks up, "what the fuck dude", and Sophie chimes in, "yeah you could've hurt us with that fucking ice". Midoriya looks at me, wanting me to tell them what the girls are saying, but I just put my head down and curl up tighter.

Midoriya tilts his head in confusion, "They've gone non verbal, they wont talk to you until they feel safe, its an autism thing", Bakugo mumbles gruffly.

Todoroki uses the little English he knows and turns towards the girls, taking a step forward, steam coming from the left side of his body. "Go. Away.".

Jessica scoffs, "whateaver.", she says and turns to walk away, the other girls following suit, not without sending me a dirty look or two of course.

The ice disappears as the three of them sit next to me on the wall.

A phew minutes pass by as I calm down and I slowly say, "they broke my headphones.. I cant afford to buy new ones though.." tears trail down my face as all three boys in unison say "i'll buy you new ones"

There's a pause as they look at eachother, Bakugo says in a hardly audible mumble "we'll all buy you things if that makes you happy.." as he looks at me. I sniffle, "you don't have to do that.." I say quietly.

"we will though", Midoriya says happily, smiling at me. "and Kacchan, don't turn this into a competition!", Midoriya practically whined.

"everythings a competition to me, damn nerd." he keeps his voice low, still looking at me, not breaking eye contact.

We spent the rest of break on the wall, talking and laughing about random things, but Bakugo never seemed to take his eyes off me, Midoriya teasing him about it slightly and instantly regretting it.

It was fun and I had a hunch that maybe this month wouldn't be so bad after all.

----------------

I was feeling very Todoroki today idk why but here, three dudes that are willing to buy stuff for you to make you happy, two of em are rich, isn't that everything anyone could ever want :0

This is my first post on tumblr, but if this isnt absolutely terrible please check out my wattpad elijah_fanficss :D

i will probably post all of the stories on here too eventually but just check it out since its where i post everything first, its not long and theres only a phew parts on there at the moment but im working on it T-T

i tend to ramble so just ignore that :p

i am taking ideas so if you wanted me to wright about something drop it in the comments and i can see if its something i would like to do but no promises :)

[camgoloud]

im sorry im back to yell at you about the magicians again… very much enjoying it so far especially the whole “magic school would be insufferable actually” concept. a classroom full of a billion teenage prodigies all trying to outprodigy each other at the world’s most annoying menial tasks? eugh. getting hives already. no thanku. it reminds me a lot of the scholomance, especially adding in the whole languages thing… idk. very cool.

also i know it’s unintentional and absolutely not what “straight man” is supposed to indicate in this situation but. this paragraph is So Fucking Funny to me thinking back after finding out Eliot’s gay. what did he need a straight man for hello

okay 1. DO NOT APOLOGIZE please i am going around these days vibrating with the need to talk about these books. yell at me as much as you want i will be so glad to have the opportunity to yell back and also 2. re: brakebills YES. yes exactly. okay so this is a whole-ass trilogy right like i don’t think it’s too much of a spoiler to say that there’s Quite A Lot Of Stuff to them beyond the time quentin spends at brakebills BUT i do find the brakebills stuff really fascinating! because a. i’ll always love a good magic-school story i am not immune to the trope and also b. exactly what you pointed out re: the text’s engagement with the idea that magic school Would Maybe Kind Of Suck, Actually—but at the SAME TIME the idea of it remains compelling both to quentin and to the reader (at least to me)… in my head i always call this the secret history maneuver—when an author manages to simultaneously demonstrate Why This Whole Thing Is Bad And Also, Kind Of, Hilarious When You’re Not One Of The Guys With Their Head Stuck Up Their Ass About It, and, also, make you kind of want to be one of the guys with their head stuck up their ass about it. brakebills does not sound fun! everybody in there is romanticizing their own pain and suffering and the idea of their genius just to make it through the hell they are all putting themselves through for what reason exactly?! and yet at the same time… who among us has never been there. maybe i just needed to chill out a little bit in high school idk. but! there’s just something really compelling about the way everybody at brakebills clearly romanticizes the hell out of their ability to hack it at an Elite Institution and you at the reader are like “okay i get why this is a point of pride for you, insufferable teenage prodigy whose entire identity has clearly been built around the idea of your own academic superiority to The Masses, but also… damn you really live like this? lmao.” and now that you bring it up it is interesting to think about in conversation with the scholomance! like obviously they come at it from very different angles because so much of the scholomance books features the characters explicitly talking and thinking about lowering barriers to scholarship, etc. while everyone at brakebills seems to be all-in on making life as hard as possible for themselves so they can get off on the idea of how special they are BUT in the context of the broader trilogy, some new perspectives you get later on as you meet new characters/quentin grows up some… i think there’s maybe an undercurrent of some similar point being made in the magicians though i’m not really sure how intentional grossman was being about it. and also you’re right about the magic systems being pretty similar re: the integration of so many different languages into the spellwork! though again i think novik is much MUCH more interested in the politics of language than grossman is

and also 3. lmaoooo i love it. quentin (to himself, about eliot): what this boy needs is a role model. a REAL MAN to show him what’s what. i can be that for him [is absolutely NOT capable of being a role model for anyone in the entire world; is also in spite of his efforts not even that much more successful at being a Traditionally Masculine Man than the guy actively trying to be as flamboyant as possible]

[rabbithaver]

oh cool ive finally figured out what my role in this family is! since i am a lazy worthless fuck with no marketable skills and a PhD in bitching and moaning, i've been wondering why my dad hasnt kicked me out yet. well, thank god my dad decided to tell me! thanks to him, i now know that my role in the family is "person it's ok for me (dad) to verbally abuse and harass when im in a bad mood"

tw for suicide, abuse, just shitty fathers. he's not always shitty and i do love him, but when he sucks he really sucks

i came upstairs to get dinner and found my parents watching TV with the volume already cranked up to like 90. which is insane, even for us. i could hear it clearly from DOWNSTAIRS through the FLOORBOARDS. when i get upstairs, i asked politely if they could turn it down, and my dad immediately fucking bit my head off about it. treated me like less than dirt for even daring to ask. i was trying to be nice and he acted like i'd gone over to the TV and turned it off in the middle of what they were watching.

i explained i wanted it turned down because i haven't seen this season of Stranger Things yet. my dad basically said "nope, don't care. your mother can't hear it if it's any lower, so go fuck yourself." i would understand that line of reasoning, but they had the captions on, and i know for a FACT that my mom has been able to hear the TV when the volume is at like, half that,

he doesn't do this to anyone else. it's literally JUST me. i ask a simple question and if he feels like it, he'll chew me out and yell at me. if anyone else asks, he'll say he's not in a good mood and to leave him alone. no one else in the family gets treated like this. he genuinely doesn't care if he hurts me and he's never once apologized to me. i don't understand. why is it just me? is it because i'm a failure and a disappointment?

he just doesn't see me as a person worth respecting. he's never taken me seriously. in the past, when i was a suicidal teenager, i remember yelling during a breakdown, "you wouldn't even care if i k*lled myself!" and he actually laughed and said "No, I wouldn't. Why would I?"

yeah, why would you? what is there worthy of respect? i'm a disappointment in every single way. i'm an embarrassment to this family. i have failed every single thing i have ever tried. i couldn't even off myself properly. i couldn't do the bare minimum and graduate high school -- i'm the only person in the entire extended family not to meet the lowest bar possible.

it all makes perfect sense, but it still fucking hurts. it hurts twice as much because i still love him despite the way he treats me when he's moody

[nutal]

Okay, before i start to explain on what the HEIGH is going on inside my tiny little cranium of mine, the Adam angst (my headcanons) I invented is pretty much inspired by multiple stuff on tumblr, so it may not really be original + it may age as bad as milk (tho idk if it really matters, the angst was just made for fun and nothing else, im just here to share my imaginary scenarios with u + i started typing this whole ass paragraph essay at school + it may prob go against canon but these are just theories for fun soooo ye here we go)

T W: intense angst, may delve in some serious topics

Lemme start off my storytelling with the magical, splendid place that is so-called “The Garden of Eden” This is the place where Adam and Lilith were born from the very specks of dust (a very splendid way of saying that they just *POOF*, appeared out of nowhere).

Now since Adam and Lilith were God’s creation, it’s pretty obvious that the both of them would be prideful and childish, even if Adam and Lilith were created as adults (not really their fault, they were barely just created and are just babies in adult bodies about to be traumatized later on in life + they’re kinda in a forced marriage when u think about it)

While Adam (the dumbass) was like: “I do what I want UvU” in a dumbass, but funny way, Lilith was like: “I do what I want UnU” in a more subtle and feminine way.

I can just imagine Adam being like: “Yo, Lilith, I’m gonna climb up that tree bc i want to!” and Lilith being like: “Bro, no, you will literally fall off of it, because you don’t even know how to climb, you fucking dumbass.”

Adam climbs up the tree anyway and falls flat on his face and Lilith just face slaps herself bc Adam is a dummy.

One day, Adam and Lilith would meet the angel “Lucifer”, basically Luci wanted to visit the humans bc he was curious. Of course, the 2 would be really excited to meet Luci, and they would have a lot of fun together, playing games and such, especially Lilith, who basically all of her attention to Lucifer, ignoring Adam’s existence completely. Even to the point of ghosting Adam for days just to hang out with Lucifer. Adam would notice this, and decides to confront Lilith about this.

Adam keeps asking her why she has been so distant with him, but Lilith keeps denying, being like: “Dude, stop being so controlling! Mind your own business, and stop being so paranoid!”

Adam: “BRO, EVER SINCE YOU’VE HANGED OUT WITH LUCI, YOU’VE BEEN GONE FOR DAYS ON END WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME ANYTHING! ARE YOU NOW WITH LUCI OR SOME SHIT?!”

In a moment of absolute annoyance and fury, she snapped: “WELL, MAYBE I AM! HE’S SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU AND I LIKE HIM WAY MORE THAN I EVER LIKED YOU!”

At that moment, Adam was just… stunned. Those words coming from Lilith hurt deeply.. and i mean, REALLY deeply, not only because it hurt his ego, but he actually really liked Lilith, so hearing this, it really just, destroyed him.

Lilith: “I NEVER NEEDED YOU ANYWAY!” As Lilith fled from The Garden, Adam yelled at her in the distance, trying to hold back his tears: “I NEVER NEEDED YOU EITHER!”, turning his back to the opposite direction and crying silently.

After the incident, God decided to give Adam a second chance, in exchange for a rib (Adam’s rib), and created Eve. His second wife. Now Eve, Eve was a little more special. While Lilith was more upfront and independent, Eve was the opposite, being dependent and really sweet. At first, Adam would be cautious at first, but eventually, starts to fall in love again, in fact, he fell harder for Eve than Lilith.

Lilith’s abandonment pretty much caused him to not only be really protective towards Eve, but also more affectionate and caring. Cherishing her more than his first wife. He was happy again.. at least for a while.

You see, in The Garden of Eden, there was a mysterious tree, to which there was something whom God warned Adam and Eve not to taste from: “The Fruit of Knowledge”. Not only did it grant free will to whoever takes a bite from the apple itself, but also show them the difference between right and wrong.

Eve, being as sweet as she was, was also very curious about the apple, but Adam would always warn her NOT to eat the apple. Ever. Eve would beg him to let her take at least take one bite from it, and maybe even Adam taking a bite too, to which Adam always said: “No.”

Eve: “Please?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “Pleeaassee?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “Plllleeeeeaaaasseee?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “PlleeEEEEAASSEE?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “PLS PLS PLS-“

Adam: “NO.”

Eventually, one day, Adam would wake up to see that Eve was not next to him. He starts having a panic attack and tries desperately to look for her. Meanwhile, Eve just decided to stay next to a tree, being pretty upset that Adam wouldn’t let her taste the apple.

Then, Lucifer and Lilith see Eve. In Lilith’s mind, Eve is another victim of Adam’s controlling behavior, like her. So, to help her out, she tells Lucifer to give Eve The Fruit of Knowledge. Luci agrees, and shows Eve the apple.

Eve gets really enthusiastic, and despite Adam’s warnings, her curiosity got the best of her, and eats the Apple.

When Adam finds her, it’s already too late, Eve already ate the apple. Adam would be mortified to not only seeing Eve eating the apple, but also seeing his first wife, Lilith, and Lucifer. Eve immediately realized her grave mistake, but then basically, the roots of sin would reach earth and humanity as a whole, and from there, God would tell her that she’s banished from Eden and she falls down to earth… but then realizes.. that Adam fell with her.. even is he hasn’t ate the apple, he still decided to fall with her.

After Adam and Eve have fallen from Eden, they pretty much had to struggle to survive and it wasn’t easy. They had to actually hunt down for food, even killing some animals in the process unwillingly. Eve would start to become really bitter and cold with him. Adam also noticed this, but not wanting to lose Eve like he lost Lilith, he wouldn’t confront her like he did with her. But eventually, she leaves him aswell. Adam would desperately try to find her to no avail. He would start breaking down, his world would start spinning. Feeling as if.. as if he wasn’t good enough for anything… for ANYBODY… that he’s worthless… and has no purpose. Eventually he would die because of starvation and grief…

Then.. he wakes up to see that he’s… in the middle of nowhere. He notices that now, he has golden-like wings and a halo on top of his head. A tall silhouette would appear, revealing to be none other than “Sera”.

Obviously, Adam would be cautious at first, but the Seraphim would tell him: “Greetings, The First Man. I’m Sera, the High Seraphim. Congratulations for being the first human soul to arrive up in heaven!”

Adam would be surprised, but then ask: “Huh?.. wha?..But, what I am doing here..?”

Sera: “I’ll show you, follow me.”

Adam still being gullible as.. heaven? (PUN) would follow Sera, all the way to a… room. Then, Sera would show him his robes and his, uh, exorcist army (that just *POOF*, appeared just for his role), but.. most importantly.. his LED mask.

Sera: “You are now promoted as the Leader of the Exorcists, Adam.”

Adam would put on the robes, still not really knowing what’s going on, but he just accepted it. Then, Sera would explain to him in more details about what he’s supposed to do in his specific role (basically saying that he has a harem army of killing machines, that kill Lucifer’s and Lilith’s citizens [sinners] every year to quote on quote ‘protect heaven’, but saying it in a splendid way)

And.. this made Adam feel.. absolutely empowered, being able to take revenge on Lilith and Lucifer by exterminating sinners in hell every year, …and.. in his own twisted sense of mind.. he was able to have a purpose again…right? He eagerly puts the mask on, without even questioning whether this was even right or not, for he doesn’t even know the difference between right and wrong. (Nightmare moon phase coming up rq)

And because he felt.. like he had a purpose again, thinking that.. maybe he still had importance to someone or something, he truly respected Sera, and never even DARED to question Heaven.. bc thats basically his purpose.. and if he questioned it, its kinda game over.

The kinda disturbing part about this is that, if he didn’t eat the apple, that would mean he doesn’t have free will. Which basically, he didn’t even choose to do this kind of thing, he just went to heaven by default and becomes the leader bc ‘he dah first man’ without him actually having any kind of saying to this. Kinda like a puppet on strings, if you think about it. (but it’s a game theory so i digress)

Also like, considering that angels and winners probably just showered him with blind praise, not even really addressing his actual issues, so basically, his deep emotional wounds barely got any kind of healing (if not even more), and his narcissism (being his possible coping mechanism after just drowning in negative emotions for so long bc heaven doesn’t even really care for him that much) continued to grow stronger and stronger, until it was basically his other identity. Basically kinda like Nightmare moon, where Luna basically drowned in resentment and became Nightmare moon, Adam drowns in the negative emotions of “not being good enough”, so he creates some kind of ‘shield’ to protect himself from ever getting hurt deeply again.

I remember when I watched JaidenAnimations video: Why I don’t have a “face reveal”. That video alone.. it basically made me realize that people could be struggling without even having the slightest realization of what’s going on. This also reminded me of Adam, then I thought that.. maybe,.. maybe Adam also feels kinda the same way as Jaiden, lemme explain further:

So, in JaidenAnimations video, she basically explains on how her standards became so high that she was TERRIFIED of ever having a face reveal bc she had a deep fear of disappointing everyone around her. (I still thank u Jaiden, hope u doin well bro, i love ya 👍👍)

There could be a possibility that, Adam may have had such high standards for how he needed to look, since he didn’t really looked like other angels, he just looked like a normal guy, that it became an insecurity for him and he basically just hides his face with his LED mask, terrified of what others may think of his actual face.

god, this took a whole DAY to write this and i may have still not executed my ideas well, or may have missed some ideas cause i forgot, but hey i tried, im gonna take a breath bro- *inhales oxigen tank intensely*

OH MY GOD THIS IS CRAZYYY YOO HOLD ON??? Dude omg yes yes i def agree he would fall WAYYYY harder for Eve than Lilith and I absolutely see what you mean that Adam and Lilith were like a forced marriage type situation cuz i mean yeah they literally did LOL. Adam for sure genuinely cared for Eve though, they had something a lot more special and I can only imagine how badly that must’ve hurt for Adam when she ate the apple and left after him begging her to NOT do that!

And yes yes YES him feeling empowered after becoming head of the exorcists being able to take revenge in that way like RAAAGHGHGEHH HELL YEAH!!

And I have ALWAYS been a huge believer in Adam using his narcissism as a coping mechanism from the very start. Like that just seems very on point and canon to me. Because this man is very clearly insecure, you can just tell. Especially with the whole mask thing, which I’ve actually brought up in the past. But yeah, this dude does not like people seeing his face. He def def DEF feels very average or even below that so he covers up for it through constantly flaunting about how great he is n shit so that nobody’ll suspect a thing.

THANK YOU FOR THIS ESSAY BTW I LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT AND AGREEEE!

[stargazer0001]

there is something deeply wrong with me but I dont know what it is

like bestie im not talented im traumatized. Im not wasting a gift im trying to keep myself from plunging a knife in my chest and bleeding out in my bed. Like void, please shut the fuck up.

but then when other people vent to me, even if I TRY to care, I just dont. Like im sorry. I want you to feel better. But wtf am I meant to do. Like sorrows, sorrows, but I cant even deal with my own emotions what makes you think I can help with yours???????? And then I TRY. I TRY to help knowing that I cant, I TRY to care even though I dont, I TRY to make it known that I want them to feel loved and cared for, but nothing works. And then I feel like a piece of shit who deserves to rot away in a corner for all eternity!!!

Oh and speaking of rotting away, SCHOOL. I can't pay attention. Like if its not interesting I just zone out and start questioning my reality. And then im like 'wtf are we doing now'. Its actual torture what. And when I TRY to pay attention and actually LEARN I literally just end up drawing on my paper or my mind starts to wander. BUT THEN THE FUCKING THINGS MY TEACHERS ARE SAYING MAKE NO SENSE!! LIKE GIRLIE HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT TO DO IF YOU DIDN'T TAKE ME THROUGH A THOROUGH STEP MY STEP PROCESS HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THIS. And then I DONT SPEAK UP BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER HAVE MY HAND CHOPPED OFF THEN SPEAK TO A TEACHER. Like. Then, everyone else seems to immediately understand everything?? Some people talk back to teachers??? Some people WANT to talk to teachers??? Who are you and how. Oh and then my classmates??? Literally horrible. I want them to die. Thankfully i have a couple friends in my classes which makes it a bit more bearable, but NO KEENAN OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS, STOP DANCING AND SCREAMING, STOP BEING SO UNBEARABLE, STOP BEING A DICK. LIKE DUDE I BET YOU DONT EVEN GOT ONE. LITERALLY STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE. And its this one certain friend group who is actually the WORST. Like im TRYING to pay attention and then all of a sudden one of these kids starts yelling at another, stuff is thrown, and nothing gets done. BUT THEN THE TEACHERS DO NOTHING. THEY DONT CARE. BUT THEN WHEN SOMEBODY ELSE TALKS EVEN ONCE ITS IMMIDIATELY PRINCIPLES OFFICE???? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST KILL ME.

oh and then out of school isn't even better at all. I just want to waste away in my room. Everything always hurts and I just want to be with friends but I know that nobody can or wants to hang out with a sad waste of oxygen like me. And then when im trying to go to bed I just hear the crashing of glass, my parents having a screaming match, and then my mom going back to drinking her sorrows away while my dad continues to try and sleep. Like please im so tired just let me go into my happy place and attempt to die in my sleep. And then whenever its even around 6:00 my mom immediately starts acting drunk even if she's had nothing so what the fuck is up with that. And then she tries to gaslight me into doing things??? Like at this point im immune. I dont even give any fucks anymore because I tried doing that and it just got me hurt. So why even care anymore. So what the fuck is the point in trying to live laugh love when I just wanna off myself. Like no. Die cry hate is my new motto at this point.

and then, to top it all off, if I try venting ANYTHING to the one person I know who understands, he just asks 'oh, is it your time of the month?'

like please just kill me at this point. Take me out of the hell called living. Im so close to just dying please help.

[sardonic-sprite]

I'm Back!

Wow, so Lent is over now, so my tumblr fast is also over and I'm still a little in shock, lol. I had hoped the past six weeks? I don't know, Time is weird, would be more productive but at least I got SOME stuff written/posted. Anyway, I have one more month of school and then fucking FINALS so expect sporadic updates at idiot-o-clock hours of the night, and maybe yell at me to sleep, eat, study, or drink water whenever i do post 😅

I am up to SO EFFING MANY wips rn on so many different fronts you guys have no freaking idea 😭 so here's a status report for EVERYTHING on or going on sardonic_sprite. (Its gonna be a monster post, y'all, bear with me)

in absolutely no particular order:

Wayne4Ham: We have a LONG way to go with this one, so just be patient and I'll slowly but steadily plug on through. Aaron Burr, Sir, should theoretically take me no longer than end of april

Wayne-Crazy: there's like 4 specific requests on it, plus a few 'series' i started, but after those, say 6-7, i'll probably mark as complete and only re-open if someone offers me an idea

Batman Beginners: i'll tell y'all up front, this one will take me forever. i don't even know what all I intend to cover, but know that i'm halfway done with the DITF arc, and it'll probably come out in the next two months

Just A Kid: this was my shits-and-giggles fic that got like 3000 notes in a weekend lmao. it's something i do intend to continue bc its so fun and i enjoy the concepts in it, but i don't have plans to actively write more of it in the immediate future.

Rev Wayne: just gave y'all Jason's fic, so the next probably won't come until late in summer, extrapolating from my few data points. if anyone has ideas for timmy's intro, let me know, i'd love some inspiration

Celeb Batwaynes: reported separate from wayne-crazy for reasons. i think theres like 12 specific requests plus 2 ideas of my own. i may put out a poll for the next one to write, but not until after school's out, because these fics are HUGE time-eaters for me. speaking of, are non-tumblr-users able to vote on polls?

Welcome to Gotham U: this was again, me doing shit bc why not. will probably add more in the style that i first posted, but i doubt i will write any prose for it. if you would like to give it a try, please reach out, i'd love to see what you write!

One Diamond: every time i touch this i make the cliffhanger worse lmao. i finally do have a direction, but execution is gonna have to wait a while.

The Young, Innocent, and Righteous: this is mostly just for me anyway, but i'm just gonna say that i'm waiting until i finish watching miraculous season 5 before i go any further

AS you wish: i have 5 more requests to do and i am so sorry to everyone waiting you do not deserve this lmao. i promise im trying, i love your ideas, it just takes me a really long time to fill in the rest and then actually write it. the next one on my list is particularly hard to pin down and so it's halting the ones behind it to. if not before, then after finals i will sit and bang my head on the keyboard until something good comes out

Light Isn't Fadin': soooooo many people have asked me about this one oof. SOMEDAY, i swear. right now its a huge, nebulous, hulking monster and im sorry it's just not happening yet.

A christmas carol: wait until december. please

Father's Day: june.

A Little Problem: over the summer, i will watch marvel movies until they once again hijack my brain and fuel this to completion. maybe.

easter eggs: how the fuck did i forget this lmao. i'm doing as much as i can in april, but when the month is done, i'm sorry, we'll all be waiting until next lenten season. hopefully it won't come to that.

aaaaand i THINK that's finally it. there's also a bunch of random paragraphs in word and google docs that may appear, not to mention ideas that kidnap me in dark alleys. but i also have like a good half dozen other wips for other places that im trying to attend to, so please be forgiving if it seems like its taking a while to post something as sprite.

as always, i love questions, comments, concerns, even some complaints, so feel free to interact.

See ya when I see ya!

sprite

[theres-bugs-in-my-brain]

Dude

I’m so fucking close

In like two months I’ll be done

I’ll be out of this fucking hell hole of a high school

And I hope I can get out of this house

I want to leave and never look back

But god

Oh god dude I wish

I wish my entire high school experience wasn’t wasted on this fucking cult

Growing up in the Mormon church as been living hell

I missed out on so much just having to survive

I still remember shit of having to constantly be afraid of my own well being because I didn’t know if my family was safe, the people at church where safe, if my own friends where safe

Dude my parents OH MY FUCKING GOD dude they home schooled me for middle school then signed me up for a fucking Mormon private school taking their online course

I was so fucking isolated from anyone outside the fucking church

It was wake up, go to seminary at 5 FUCKING 30 AM, than listen to your classes talking about Jesus and how you can find him in every subject there is, after that go to a church activity, still have some time? How about we invite the MISSIONARIES over for a small FUCKING DINNER PARTY.

THIS WAS MY LIFE FOR YEARS

Im an atheist

I’m gay

I’m trans

I’m half Mexican

The treatment I’ve mostly gotten has been micro aggressions at best and physical/sexual assault at worst

I will never know what it’s like to just be a normal kid because of the people that preach they want “kids to just be kids” 

IF YOU FUCKING WANTED THAT THEN YOU COULDVE JUST LEFT ME ALONE

It’s so fucking shitty

Ever since I was outed at the age of 12 or 11 it’s been hell

At first I was fine because I still had my best friend that supported me

It was funny even

You’d be minding your business, then someone would try to talk you out of being gay, try to argue why it’s wrong, get mad at you for being gay. You’d fight back

Laugh at them with ur friends. Poke the bear with a stick

Then the tide would shift

Suddenly they didn’t try to pray the gay away, they weren’t trying to argue you out of it

Now they saw you as a threat

A threat to their friends’ sexuality, a threat to their kids’ sexuality, a threat to their own sexuality.

They where more aggressive

Often yelling at out, picking on you, singling you out, even threats that they love to call jokes

But that’s okay,

You’ll hold your head high

Stand your ground

you won’t swallow your pride

so you’ll fight with your words

And if they decided they didn’t want to play with words

Then you’d fight with every tooth and nail you have

You’d be very really win a fight

Like ever

They usually get broken up by adults or they’d get the upper hand and stop when they’re bored

A rare occurrence actually having to fight

But it changes you

Before you where creepy

Now you try to be off putting, to appear as batshit crazy as you can

But it’s okay because when it gets too much you go to your friends

Then

The tide shifts again

Your friends are closer to other friends than before

They stop hanging out

Then the excuses come

“My dad thinks you might be making me gay. Sorry. Yeah I’m going to have to block you.”

“My mom said if your mom weren’t friends with her, that she wouldn’t let me hang out with you, can we maybe stop hugging?”

“Being gay is one thing, but being trans is a bit much. You’ve always been a girl and i can’t see you any other way.”

“Are you just trying to be a guy so girls can like you more? That’s really creepy.”

And the worst of all you best friend

“I just think marriage should stay between a man and a woman.”

“But you said that you’d support gay marriage despite what your parents say. Your aunt is gay, and you’re a witch.”

“changed my mind.”

Now it’s harder to hold your head high

To stand your ground

You start to retreat

You cant appear normal for the life of you

But now you laugh at their jokes

You play along with them

Make yourself small

You’ll expire soon

It doesn’t matter

You promised

You took away life now it’s your turn

But you can never actually mange to do it

Then your friend finds out

He makes you stay

You decided to brake that promise but now it’s too late

Now your sister knows

You make another promise

Before you know it there’s too many promises to brake

They watch you like a hawk

Make sure you get better

But it doesn’t erase the fact that they pushed to here

You’re at this point because of them

And now it’s less than three months from graduation

You’ll never have a real high school experience

You’ll never be able to be a real teenager

You’ll never be able to be a real teen boy

What are you going to do about it

You graduate in less than three months

Can you make it to crawl out of this hell hole?

Or will you lay there in the grime you’re so well acquainted with?

[the-sslimmest-shady]

The weird part of having paranoia delusions is that so often things just "make sense". Like, you're aware it's not true, but you feel an immense compulsion to fully believe it is. Or something "connects" in your head, but it's not logical. You know it's not. But it could still technically be 100% true against all logical odds.

More after the cut, slight nsfw warning kinda

For example, last week I had fully convinced myself that a group chat I was in wasn't real and I was making it up. I don't know why I would make it up, but it was on an app that I'd never heard of before and my friend was very vague while telling me about it, and I hadn't seen anybody in the chat in weeks (I was on winter break) so, to my fucked up little head, there was no way to prove that the chat existed. I ended up having a bit of a breakdown in the chat, begging someone to text me a photo of them holding a piece of paper saying that the chat was real (since I already knew that texts were real since I'd talked to them irl about texts and seen them text me).

I'd never had this type of breakdown infront of them before, usually being able to sort it out through seeing them in real life and slyly asking questions that would "prove" the reality of the thing in question, but now they just thought I was batshit crazy asking if an app I'd messaged in like 500 times by then was real or not. And honestly, they were right! I WAS batshit crazy.

And, at least for me, it's influenced by media too.

For example, earlier this week, I was listening to an episode of the magnus archives during lunch at school while just casually roaming around to try to find my friends. But, it happened to be an episode based off The Lonely (if you don't listen to the magnus archives, The Lonley is basically one of the god-type things in the tma universe, it affects feelings of loneliness and shame, and these god-like entities can affect reality in the tma universe causing events to happen irl that are similar to their type). And because it was a Lonely episode, and I was walking a route that I usually don't go, and I couldn't find anybody I knew, and I hadn't actually talked to anyone at school all day, I had yet another delusion. For just a moment, which lasted all of about 8 minutes since I found my friend shortly after, I was Fully Convinced that I wasn't actually at school and that I was still at home, probably getting yelled at for standing around being hours and hours late. "How could I sleep in so long?!" I thought, "I'm fucked I'm so so fucked, how am I still asleep i need to leave!! I need to get to school or I'll be even more late!!". Just absolutely freaking out in my head, showing nothing on the outside cuz I didn't want anyone to "think there's a ghost here by moving the air air around", which, even if somehow it was true that i was astral projecting into the school or some shit, thinking that i couldn't/shouldn't move around weirdly was inherently illogical. Because like I said, I was already walking around *quite fast*, basically running at this point since im naturally a fast walker and was freaking out, and therefore I was moving a lot of air around.

And okay this is gonna be a gross one so I'm sorry but it really shows just how much of my life this paranoia shit affects, but like, I can't even "get off" without being paranoid. I constantly, 24/7, believe there's a camera watching me if I'm doing anything wrong/embarrassing. And I *know* it's illogical, I don't know why anyone would wanna watch me do weird shit nor how they'd get the cameras around, but still, whenever someone says "hey Mike, cm'ere I wanna talk about something" my first thought is that they're gonna pull up camera footage of me smoking weed or something else I'd get in trouble for, or smthn that'd just be plain embarrassing! I litterally like, *can't* get off without hiding myself somehow cuz I ain't into voyeurism or whatever. Depending how how bad my mentalscape is that day, just keeping my pants on can keep me from feeling watched and exposed, but sometimes I gotta wear 2 blankets and put heavy boxes infront of my already locked doors and keep all my clothes on and wear headphones at 1% volume. (and for the record, I always wash anything I was wearing after that. I may have poor hygiene but even on my very worst days I can AT LEAST change my boxers). And I ain't just tryna infodump aby my dick here or smthn, saying this is only to point out how this kinda paranoia can affect so many odd corners of your life. I debated mentioning it at all, but it feels important.

I don't really know where this is going at this point, kinda just me venting about my paranoia and delusions I guess. I guess im hoping that this sparks some kinda thread talking about these types of mental illnesses, I don't see a lot of posts about these. It makes me feel inhuman sometimes, not even as a delusion (though that is a frequently recurring one), but in the way of not even being able to talk about it to find other people like me. Humans are a social species, and not being able to talk about this without being outcast paired with the delusions that other people aren't real, makes me feel *really* inhuman.

I want to help yall because I know firsthand how shitty it feels. If anybody has coping mechanisms for this that they favor, even if they seem obvious, please tell me. Someone who reads this might also be struggling with paranoid delusions with NO coping mechanisms. Anything helps. Share your stories, and ways people have helped you. Even if the "people" was just yourself.

I know this post prolly won't get a lot of notes, it's just the ramblings of a sleep deprived madman after all, but I really hope it does.

[randommothsvents]

//TW VENT,MELTDOWNS,RELIGIOUS THEMES,MENTIONS OF DEMONS,OTHERKIN (scary/jk)//

I'm tired and mentally drained

I try my fucking best to be kind.i donate to my school,I help people,I generally care for others but EVERY FUCKING TIME IM SEEN AS THE PROBLEM

Everyday it's "stop trying to make people mad (deadname)" and "stop being such a brat (deadname)" when I don't do anything wrong

I left my room (my cave) to go talk to my sister but she got mad at me for annoying her.my mom yelled at me for trying to make her mad (for the 72828828291911 time) and when she called my grandfather (he lives with us) that was my last fucking straw

I've been through this.everyone gets mad at me,especially my grandfather and I go to my room and I cry silently

But something in me stopped and I just started having a melt down

I was crying alot

Like my face feels dry and my throat hurts after crying

My mom was shocked and shit

She's seen me like this before btw

But I just started getting aggressive and I ran to my room

My mom doesn't believe in privacy so she ran into my room and came to calm me down

Aka:not leaving when I tell her to get out and even when I slam my door on her while begging her to give me peace

Being alone is only way I can get calmed down.if I'm still with someone then I will never stop crying (if you read my book,you might be able to see how me and spark are very similar,surprise!!)

My grandfather came in and I begged and yelled at him on how what he says to me is very rude

He is the main person that yells "stop being rude" "you're being a brat" "why do you aways like making people mad?" "Only demons get like this"

Yesterday it said "that's all you do,is make people mad"

That deeply hurt me

He said (I remember the exact words) "well,it was yesterday so it doesn't matter"

...

Just because that it was yesterday.... does NOT mean that it doesn't matter

I'm just so tired of everything and everyone

Why did I have to be born here,what sin did I do??

I'm aways the problem,I'm sorry for everything

I'm sorry

I'm so fucking sorry

Please forgive me

It's all my fault

I honestly can't take it anymore

Don't get me wrong,I don't wanna die.i don't consider myself su1c1d@l

But I wish I was never born

I actually threw up from crying/srs

I haven't had a meltdown in about 2 years (i think)

You know what?I'm aways the problem.it will always be my fault.i will never be able to do anything right.i have aways been a shitface.i am a waste of space.i was born something (mitski reference) and that something is evil

I fully and unironically believe I am a demon

Demonkin basically

Sorry if this sounds weird but I wanna get this out of my head.(reminder to support your local otherkin)

I am a demon (well,fallen angel)

I used to be so sweet kind but I turn evil really

In an idiot and evil

Nothing but a evil person who likes to cause harm

I believe I am the reincarnation of the devil/srs

It may not make sense to you but it makes sense to me

I am not...human

Once again:I'm sorry if this comes off as weird

but we all die.we will all fucking die.we will all parish

Why fucking care about a 14 year old with "perfect mental health" who identities as a demon

Anyways,I'm going to go draw.thanks for reading :D

[sophism84]

You know we all arrive here on this planet without a guide book and we spend our lives trying to find out why we are here. And after this very long night of mine, I think I have figured my reason why I’m here. So like when I died, I was arguing w someone who literally was like you have to go back. And I was before then and just swelled up and showed them, look this is what I’m living through, I don’t want this anymore don’t make me go back. And they were like let me show you. But the sky was grey that day. The sun was not shining. They said the sun would shine tomorrow when I woke up. I said I was too sad, I couldn’t do it. It didn’t matter they waited for me to say yea. So I woke up to a nurse, an intubation tube and strapped to a bed. I don’t know how to describe those first five minutes other than why the fuck am I strapped down? Lol I can’t breathe lol

Anyway, I’ve met some wild people on the internet. People who are international, I would never speak to them in my normal life. We don’t run in the same circles. But these conversations apparently carry influence. To the point where I’ve heard my words in rhymes set to music, playing through my ear pod at work. And I’m like damn I like this song, then as the week goes on you remember. As if you’re brain is just saying “lol you like this because” this most recent memory escapade where it just HAD to remind me I have talked to this person lol made my memory of something that happened over ten years ago possibly so real.

I was talking to this person, who I now know who they are cause, anyway we were talking about our childhood, and I was like “no sorry I never grew up w that stuff my school was poor” and lord was it. We had teachers who hit us for discipline, my fifth grade teacher would crank the ac down to 55 if that possible, and yell at us that we were retarded and that he bets ours moms still wipe our butts, I remember my tummy grumbling and being so tired hungry and cold I just wanted to die lol and heck yes I reported him. Lol I just got moved classrooms where he walked me inbetween rooms where he put his hand on the small of my back pushed me into the new room and told his friend the new teacher I needed a teacher who “talked nicer” lol cause IM THE PROBLEM lol okay!

Anyway someone close to me in 2000 did something illegal legally lol which is funny that saved my life. I never knew they like actually loved me until they dd this and everything happened and now that I look back the industry they worked in and the knowledge they had, they def stuck their neck out. Anyway this person was in need. For something that was entirely out off my control. And I couldn’t do a thing. But I answered a couple more questions for this person on the internet. I don’t remember if I asked straight out. But this person on the internet helped out ny person. And how I found out was I was w my person and they were explaining what was going on now, and they said the thing that made it all possible. And let me tell you it didnt fully hit me in that moment. But I did feel like I had a secret I could never tell a soul, cause it might go away lol but damn did it throw my mind into wtf that’s not real like absolutely no way haha that’s insane. Lol but the craziest thing. My person and I are not close anymore. And they will never know that the reason they’re good now, is cause I talked w someone on the internet. But how do you repay someone for possibly saving your life or I guess literally. They don’t need to know how it happened to them and if they ever did there would be so many questions I couldn’t answer and they may never believe me cause it’s so crazy how could it be?

This is also the most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for me. Out of any conversations I’ve had w so many people. I’ve heard more songs I would like to admit after my convos. Anyway. I guess that’s why I’m here? To talk to people and just see them live out their lives. And no one will know but me. Lol cause this is why I’m here. Not to be an asshole, but I’m tired. I don’t really wanna not be here anymore lol this shit not fun anymore.

On an unrelated note. I hate that we exist at the same time. I can’t tell you the depths of sadness when I realized everything and came to the conclusion. The one I have needed to arrive at. I will never admit it to your face. But I am so hurt and angry at god that we exist in the same time. Did you have to show up? Why would god do this to me?

The mostest best lovely thing is you might read this and you will never know it’s about you. And that makes me feel better.